Dealing With Grief...

Grief is an inevitable experience, and everyone will experience it at some point in their life. Whether due to the death of a loved one (this type of grief is referred to as bereavement), losing a job, or any other significant life change, grief is the universal response to dealing with loss.

Manifestations of Grief: The infographic shows the most common physical, emotional, behavioral, and spiritual manifestations. Grief is easily misunderstood, and this image can help identify the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual manifestations of grief.

Stages of Grief:

Denial:

During the initial shock, denial functions as a protective buffer between the strong emotions and the mind. It helps the person experiencing loss to process the new, painful reality. This isn’t about refusing to accept the new reality. Instead, it is a way for the individual to not become overwhelmed by the pain.

Anger: Anger is a common emotion that often surfaces when reality sets in during the healing process. It is a necessary, protective, and frequently misunderstood part of the grieving journey because it functions as a bridge between emotional numbness and deeper emotions. Feelings of injustice, abandonment, sorrow, disappointment, longing, or powerlessness can be the trigger for anger, and may directed outwards toward others.

Bargaining: Bargaining is the stage of grief where the brain tries to cling to hope and the idea that death could be reversed. This stage is the brain’s attempt to restore predictability and coherence after the event. Emotionally charged memories activate and can intensify repetitive thoughts or reflections which is a characteristic of the bargaining stage. Bargaining often occurs when cognitive and emotional systems are recalibrating to a new reality.

Depression:

Depression can be a companion to the heaviness of grief and has the ability to be present. It is the understanding of the finality of the loss. Depression here is not pathological, but instead is natural and can be part of the healing process. These feelings can help enable the mind to slowly create acceptance instead of being overwhelmed with the full heaviness of the new reality.

Acceptance:

Acceptance doesn’t mean that the person grieving is content with the loss. It merely describes the ability to recognize the new reality. Physiological acceptance expresses itself in the body’s ability to regulate itself again. Psychologically, the mind starts making space again for new experiences. People who can recall happy memories during grief may experience relief from sadness and help during the acceptance stage.

Finding Meaning:

Finding meaning is about discovering ways the memory of a loved one and the influence this person had and can continue to shape and impact our lives. Finding meaning doesn’t erase the grief; instead, it offers a way forward. This allows the person who grieves to hold space for love and the pain of loss at the same time. Finding meaning often starts with telling stories about the loved one. This is no longer a way of trying to negotiate the loss, but Instead it is about understanding and creating a new story of the loss.

Supporting the Process:

Although grief does not generally require treatment, finding a support system can help you better manage your grief. For some people, confiding in others can help lessen the burden of emotions you are experiencing. The goal is to prevent the unhealthy consequences of grief from causing serious damage to your health and well-being. You may find support in people or groups such as:

Counselors or Therapists Family and close friends

Grief support groups - (Grief Share https://www.griefshare.org)

Religious or spiritual leaders

Your Primary Care Physician (PCP)

*Source Material: PositivePsychology

Harvard Health