Making Forgiveness A Priotiry In Your Life

What is Forgiveness? Forgiveness is often defined as an individual, voluntary internal process of letting go of feelings and thoughts of resentment, and retribution toward someone who has wronged us, including ourselves.

Forgiving for your health: Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your mental and physical health. Consequently, people who hang on to grudges are more likely to experience severe depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, as well as other mental and physical health conditions. In fact, 62 percent of American adults say they need more forgiveness in their personal lives, according to a survey by the nonprofit Fetzer Institute.

9 Benefits of Forgiveness: Medical and Psychology research show that the benefits of forgiveness can include:

• Reduction in negative affect and depressive symptoms

• Restoration of positive thinking

• Restoration of relationships

• Reduction in anxiety

• Strengthened spirituality

• Raised self-esteem

• A greater sense of hope

• Greater capacity for conflict management and

• Greater ability to cope with stress and find relief.

6 Steps for granting "Forgiveness"

• Acknowledge your pain and anger, allow yourself to fell disrespected

• Be specific about your future expectations and limits.

• Give up your right to "get even" but insist on being treated better in the future.

• Let go of blame, resentment, and negativity towards the person.

• Communicate your act of forgiveness.

• Work toward reconciliation.

6 Steps for seeking "Forgiveness"

• Admit what you did was wrong and hurtful.

• Try to understand/empathize with the pain you have caused.

• Take responsibility for your actions and make restitutions if necessary.

• Assure teh person you will not do it again.

• Apologize and ask for forgiveness.

• Forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is not:

• Enabling = Supplying the means for repeated behavior.

• Rescuing = Shielding someone from the consequences of their own decisions.

• Risking = Ignoring a pattern of abuse.

Why People Choose not to Forgive - 5 Rationalizations that don't work:

• The offense is too big.

• Time will heal it on its own.

• I’m waiting until they say they’re sorry.

• I can’t forgive what I can’t forget.

• If I forgive, they will just do it again.

6 Damaging emotions associated with un-forgiveness:

1. Bitterness = Constant irritable state of mind.

2. Wrath = Constant anger.

3. Anger = Outburst of Rage.

4. Clamor = The noise of relational strife, that requires everyone to hear your grief.

5. Slander = Using words intended to injure.

6. Malice = The derogatory inclination of the mind toward others.

Conclusion:

Through the act of forgiveness, we cleanse ourselves of the pain and anger that kept us stuck in the past. This frees us to be more mentally, emotionally, and spiritually present in the now and creates more space for contentment, peace of mind, and peace of heart.

"There are no enduring relationships without forgiveness."

*Source Material:

• Positive Psychology

• Johns Hopkins University

• James MacDonald Ministries

• Prepare & Enrich

• Psychology Today